Posted @ December 14, 2008  |  No Comments  |  Categorized Under: Jokes

- You don’t see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about

- You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there

- The process becomes more important than the product

- You stop raising issues/problems because you know you will be the one answering them

- You fly first class across the country to attend a conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough money

- You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym

- You understand the rationalization of an acronym composed of acronyms

- You know that the location of a meeting is directly related to its importance.
(1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate or a contractor
(2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal attention

- You’ve sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards

Posted @  |  No Comments  |  Categorized Under: Jokes, Funny

A hardware engineer, software engineer, and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car lost control, bounced off guardrails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along the mountainside. The occupants of the car were unhurt, but they had a problem. They were stuck halfway down the mountain in a car with no brakes.

“I know,” said the manager. “Let’s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and through a process of continuous improvement, find a solution to the Critical Problems and we’ll be on our way.”

“No,” said the hardware engineer. “I’ve got my Swiss army knife with me. I can strip down the car’s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we’ll be on our way.”

“Wait,” said the software engineer. “Before we do anything, shouldn’t we push the car back to the top of the mountain and see if it happens again?”

Posted @ November 1, 2007  |  No Comments  |  Categorized Under: Jokes, Funny

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a stunningly beautiful young
woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight black
leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. As the bus
rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus, she became aware that
her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the
bus’ first step.

So, slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this
would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the
step onto the bus only to discover she still could not make the step.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her and
unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time she attempted the
step and once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg
because of the tight skirt.

So, with a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the
offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make
the step.

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her
up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
The pretty young woman went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero,
screeching at him, “How dare you touch my body!! I don’t even know who
you are!!!!”

At this the Texan drawled, “Well ma’am, normally I would agree with you
but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind a figured that we was
friends.”

Posted @ October 25, 2007  |  No Comments  |  Categorized Under: Jokes

“Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.”

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

Posted @ October 15, 2007  |  No Comments  |  Categorized Under: Interesting, Jokes, Funny

For those of you trying out the Chinese language. Here you go.